Sidewalk spasms

Recently I've started to notice more businesses jumping on the "live character in costume" advertising approach. A few weekends ago while out shopping, I stopped at a red light near a small strip mall. On my right was a young man dressed in a Spiderman costume holding a large sign that read, "Liberty Income Tax--We do it right the first time!"
I studied the costume and asked myself why they would choose "Spiderman" to represent Liberty Income Tax--I'd seen the lady dressed as the Statue of Liberty before, but Spiderman was a first. Not only that, but the young man had to dress in the K-Mart version of the costume.
The spider "pants" were pajama pants with little black plastic shells that covered his black tennis shoes. He wore a matching pajama shirt complete with the black cobweb, and a small red ski-mask. (The latter was homemade.) I felt a little pity for the poor fellow, who was most likely paid $5.15 an hour to stand outside dressed in a hideous costume "replica"--I do want to mention one thing...as I began to make my right turn, I took one last look at our Sidewalk Superhero, and I witnessed him grab a large handful of red pajama pant while yanking out what seemed to be a wedgie of superhero size.
My, my...and this wasn't as bad as the guy on the Harley picking his nose in the next lane over.


Peaches in the summer time
Apples in the fall
If I can't have you all the time
I won't have none at all

So come all you good time rounders
Listenin' to my sound
And then drink a round to Nashville
Before they tear it down!

Back baby, back in time.