Grant's in Cody

Grant's in Cody. Cody, Wyoming. The entire month of June he'll breathe fresh, pure Rocky mountain air and wake up to dazzling Western sunrises. The jealousy is there, but I'm grateful that he will experience the one place that has seared me with its brand for the rest of my life. The entire trip to Jackson was spent saying, "I wish Grant could see this---wouldn't it be cool if Grant was here---Grant would love that---this is amazing, somebody NEEDS to see this--Grant would love it here!" And so he has arrived.

The younger brother withdrawal will sometimes seep into my daily routine, sometimes in the morning or maybe during the totally '80's lunch hour when a song comes on that was in Beverly Hills Cop or some other 80's movie that we used to love to watch together. Then sometimes in the evening, I'll watch a film and he won't ring the doorbell and take off his shoes and sit in the living room floor to watch it with me and analyze every detail like film freak-geeks. I ride by the station and see us running around the parking lot playing scavenger hunt, and I see him run out to the payphone and look in the coin return for his next clue that will eventually lead him to a single piece of Double Bubble gum, and then I see him in his diaper--rolling off the concrete like a little round ball, splashing into the pool...I watch him gurgle and splash his little hands and yell out to Mama. Grant fell in the pool! I yank him out. I see us laughing until snot rolled down our face while we made our best impression of Joseph Barrett in the kitchen at the brown house, in front of the narrow window beside the wall phone. I see us fishing in the dark with James, and falling in to the pond...I can hear him giggling through the cat-tails and the brush. I see us riding horses...he's not here to offer to ride the crazy race horse, or to fix my windshield wiper blade, or to check the air in my tire. He's not here to put my latest light fixture up or stop by to play in the creek. There's no one left to share in that crazy, looney type of humor that only belongs to something called a Prince-Powers...Grant's in Cody...and its a long way from here.