Mugshot of the Day

This mugshot is no surprise. The local restaurant, well only restaurant in Enoree is run by a Greek-American man who enjoys stealing chainsaws, renting condemned houses and trailers to felons and convicts, reusing cooking oil and grease for at least two months, not bathing for weeks and maintaining a small yard full of ponies and goats while driving local neighbors crazy.
When he's not shooting dogs or buying abandoned buildings to watch them rot, he enjoys scaring local patrons with his black, furry teeth and long nasal hair.

I guess you're wondering why I know so much. Ages ago, I waited for the school bus to pick me up at the Clock restaurant in Enoree. I waited along with my cousins, Brandy, Sandy, Mandy, Chris, and sometimes Sherry. We lived across the county line, so in order to go to the place we now refer to as Hell, we cheated the system and waited for the bus at the Clock. Those mornings were fun, if Theodore was in a good mood he'd whip up a hamburger with shredded lettuce for Sandy. Chris was obsessed with the jukebox and Vanilla Ice. We knew we'd get milkshakes if we saw Stacy Price swing by for her fix in the morning, Theodore always loved it when she stopped by.
I got my first good whiff of Theodore's body odor that year.
Looks like Theodore's got more trouble on his hands than the usual swamp ass and sweater teeth...this time it's assault and battery. Maybe they'll find that chainsaw.